


Say "I Do (Not Know How That Ninja Followed Me Home)"

by transfixeddream



Series: Power Couple 'verse [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-17
Updated: 2011-08-17
Packaged: 2017-10-22 17:41:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/240778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transfixeddream/pseuds/transfixeddream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared defuses bombs for a living, but there's no question that this is the single most stressful thing he's ever done.</p><p>Also posted <a href="http://transfixeddream.livejournal.com/106001.html">here</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Say "I Do (Not Know How That Ninja Followed Me Home)"

The shrill ringing of the alarm clock wakes Jared far too early for his comfort, and he groans as he rolls over, still feeling the ache in his bones from two days ago. Jensen's side of the bed is cold which is expected considering it's nearly noon, but it doesn't stop Jared from making an unpleasant grunt and smashing his face into Jensen's pillow. He breathes in deep and smiles at the lingering scent of Jensen.

He showers as quickly as possible, letting the warm water loosen the knots still there in his muscles, and he steps out fifteen minutes later feeling more awake and refreshed. His hair is depressing when it's wet and he does his best to dry it with the towel to miniscule success. He rations that since the only guy likely to see it will also be attempting to kill him, anything around passable is good enough for today.

All in all, it's going to be a standard, easy job: get in, disable the madman's shiny new laser beam, disable said madman, and then hopefully get back before Jensen heads to work tomorrow. It's ballsy, but Jared figures it shouldn't be that complicated--unless the asshole has a tank of hungry piranha, of course.

Jared heads out of the bathroom and makes his way into the kitchen, the voices of Regis and Kelly greeting him as he passes by the living room. The sun is shining through the open blinds on the window, painting the kitchen in warm yellow stripes, and Jared feels himself smile a little when he notices the coffee maker. It's filled with black brew, a purple sticky note stuck to the handle. Jared grabs a mug from the cupboard and peels the note from the handle, then pours himself a cup. He takes one long, refreshing sip before setting the mug down on the counter, and finally looks at the note.

 _Figured you might need this. Break a leg today and eat something!_

 _Jensen_

 _p.s. Don't actually break your leg._

Jared chuckles and folds the paper, tosses it to the side and takes another drink of coffee. It's not that he purposely goes without food or anything, just that in his line of work the bad guys don't tend to break for lunch and he just... forgets. He blames Misha completely for informing Jensen about the one time he actually passed out--only for like two seconds because he hadn't eaten in a good twenty-four hours--because now Jensen gets paranoid and acts a bit like Jared's momma. And Jared only needs the one.

Still, he figures Jensen does have a point, even if he does plan on ordering a huge ass steak after he takes this moron down, so he drinks the rest of his coffee and grabs an apple and a cereal bar on his way out.

*

Jared does his best to keep quiet as he unlocks the door and steps inside. He's tired but also _happy_ , because he managed to severely overestimate the villain's genius. The dude had just sent his bodyguards to kick Jared's ass, and once Jared had taken them out the guy basically began to cry, got on his knees and begged Jared not to hurt him. Jared hates it when the bad guys cry because it always makes him seem a little less awesome when he only stops a giant sap rather than a megalomaniacal mastermind, but right now he's not going to complain.

He toes off his shoes and takes off his jacket, draping it over a chair before walking through the pitch-black rooms. He knows their condo like the back of his hand, which is useful at times like this when he's just too damn exhausted to fumble for a light switch. Jensen's predictably in bed, seeing as how it's nearly one in the morning, so Jared just makes a quick stop in the kitchen to drink a glass of water before heading to the bedroom himself.

As it turns out, Jensen actually isn't in bed--or well, he _is_ , but he's still reading a book, the gentle glow of the lamp highlighting his face in a way that makes Jared's breath catch. He looks up from his novel and smiles, one that's all warmth and Jared feels it down to his toes. "Hey," he says, voice quiet. "Didn't expect you back so soon."

"Is that good or bad?" Jared asks as he tugs off his shirt in one quick move. "I mean, I could leave again, if you want--"

"Shut up." Jensen shakes his head and keeps smiling. "I'm happy to see you, you idiot."

Jared scoffs and heads to Jensen's side of the bed. "You sure don't sound like it," he murmurs, and then bends down to catch Jensen's mouth in a slow kiss, lips slotting together as Jensen makes a soft noise in surprise. Jared cups Jensen's jaw carefully and gets reacquainted with the taste of Jensen's tongue; it suddenly feels like he's been gone a month rather than a little more than twelve hours. He pulls away with a grin and swipes his thumb across Jensen's full bottom lip, says, "Hey."

"Hi," Jensen says back, the syllable coming out slow and smooth like honey.

Groaning as he stands up, Jared swats at Jensen's hand when he tries to pull him back down. "I gotta clean up," Jared states.

Jensen lets out a frustrated sound. "You're _fine_."

Jared grins. "And thank you for the ego boost," he says. "Gimme five, that's all I need."

Jensen waves a hand and picks his book back up, starts reading again, and just like that Jared's excused and forgotten about.

He tries to be as quick as possible in the bathroom, brushing his teeth a bit too haphazardly and then scrubbing at his face just the same. He pats his face dry and inspects his face: he's going to need to shave sometime within the next couple of days if he's going to look presentable for the meeting with his supervisors on Friday. Which reminds him... "Hey," he calls out, "how'd the presentation go?"

"Could've gone better," Jensen says as Jared heads back into their bedroom. "Mike kind of fucked his part up so I'm thinking the odds of a merge right now are fifty-fifty."

"Well, that sucks. You ever plan on firing that idiot?"

Jensen just snorts, closes his book and takes off his glasses, and then sets them both on the nightstand. Jared uses the time to drop his pants and change into fresh underwear, smiling at Jensen's whistle when he flashes his bare ass. He pulls back the blankets on his side and then slides under them, not able to help the groan that escapes as he gets comfortable.

Jensen turns on his side, supporting his head with his hand. "It's not like he's a bad employee or anything. He just sucks in meetings," he says, picking up on their abandoned conversation. "I've gotta learn to keep him out of them. If that's even remotely _possible_..."

Jared yawns. "You think?"

"Am I putting you to sleep?" Jensen asks, eyebrow raised.

"No, sorry, not at all. I'm very interested in how Mike Rosenbaum fails as a human being," Jared says. "Very, very interested, even. Just... also tired."

"Right," Jensen says, quirking his lips. He reaches out and spreads his fingers on Jared's chest, hand hot like a brand, and then he's dragging it down to Jared's stomach suggestively, murmurs, "How tired?"

Jared chuckles and covers Jensen's hand. "Never too tired for _that_ ," he says, and Jensen's responding grin is feral as he rolls onto Jared. Jensen's crotch is pressing tight against Jared's own, and Jared gasps at the pressure. His dick fills with blood quickly as Jensen leans down to bite his lip, a sharp tug of teeth followed by a slow, soothing swipe of tongue. Jared growls and gets his hands under the band of Jensen's underwear and tugs them down past his ass, and Jensen does the same with the front of his.

Jensen gets their cocks lined up then, hot, fat lines that slide against one other in time with Jensen's slow movements. Jared spits once in his palm, moves his hand between their bodies and captures their dicks with it. And _shit_ , Jared loves this, loves the way they both fit so perfectly in his hand, combined thickness snug in is grip. They slide easily with his spit, slick, wet noises coming from them as Jared gets them off with fast strokes.

Above him, Jensen whimpers, and it's easy for Jared to slide his free hand between Jensen's shoulder blades and up over his neck to cup his head, nudge him down onto Jared's lips carefully. Jensen pants in his mouth, short, hot ones that let Jared know just how close he is, the rocking of Jensen's hips becoming frantic along with his breathing. It's not long before Jensen's coming, spilling hot on Jared's fingers and stomach, and Jared comes a second later with a sob that gets caught in his throat.

Jared strokes them together a few more times, draining both of them, and he feels Jensen smile against his lips, followed by a slow slide of tongue into his mouth.

Afterward, when Jensen's arm is resting on his stomach and Jensen's chest is pressed against his back, Jared feels the overwhelming conclusion that this right here is how he wants to fall asleep always.

*

"Alright, temperature is nearing a hundred degrees," Misha says in Jared's ear.

Jared runs his tongue along his upper lip and grimaces as he reaches for the next crevice. Why do evil geniuses have to build their lairs in places where the temperature gets into the triple digits? It doesn't seem particularly smart. Not to mention this new trend of building them high on mountains or cliffs--Jared always hated climbing in gym class. "You think this guy has AC in his hideout?"

"Possibly," Misha says. "After all, he did install heat-seeking missiles and lasers. I doubt air conditioning would be complicated for him."

Jared figures even if Kripke did think to put in AC, he'd probably be a dick and shut it off just because. It's not like it wouldn't be warranted or anything; Jared _has_ sent him to prison five times now, and has accidentally sent him falling to his apparent death twice, but still. It's not his fault that Kripke has a massive hard on for giant snow machines designed to freeze the world--he should just try to avoid placing ice patches near two hundred foot drops.

Wiping his brow, Jared glances up. It looks to be another forty feet or so, which shouldn't take him that long. Misha seems to be on the same page, says, "You manage to take him out within the hour and I can get you back to your honey by seven tonight."

Jared huffs a laugh and keeps climbing. "Um, right. About that. Misha, can I ask you a question?"

"That is generally what handlers are here for," Misha says. "What is it?"

He's been thinking about the idea a lot this past week, weighing the pros and cons to his options. It's lurking at the corners of his mind at all times, and he's inclined to think that has to be a good sign.

"How do you feel about marriage?"

"That depends. Do I say 'I think it's the bomb,' and then you propose to me?"

"What? _No_."

"Oh," Misha says. "That's good, because otherwise this may have been awkward."

Jared grunts as he stretches high for the next opening. "I've just--I've been thinking. Jensen and I have been together for a while and, well. I think I'm game for it."

"And is Jensen?"

"Uh," Jared says. The truth is they haven't exactly spoken a lot about it, possibly felt like they didn't _have_ to, not right now anyway. But the more Jared thinks about it, the more he wants to do it, and he wants it to be a surprise. There's really no point if there's no surprise factor. "He's never stated that he was against it, or anything."

Misha hums in reply. There's a tapping of keys on the other end and then Misha says, "You should go for it. You guys are great for each other."

"You haven't even met him," Jared points out.

"No, I haven't," Misha says, "but this love calculator says you two are ninety-one percent compatible, which is good enough for me."

"You're giving me relationship advice from a love generator? Misha, I'm serious about this."

"Well, I'm not Oprah," Misha says. "When you want tips on how to defuse bombs or how to be awesome, that's when you come to me. But I've also been your handler for far longer than you've known Jensen, and I've never heard you talk about anybody like you do about him. So, I think if you want to do it, you should do it."

"You think he'll say yes?"

"I think," Misha says, slow and careful, "that somebody doesn't reach his job position by being stupid."

"Noted," Jared says, feeling a little relieved at the words. "Thanks, Misha." He glances up again: another ten feet, maybe. "And since you mentioned it, how about you bring me up to date again on my old pal Kripke."

More tapping, and then Misha's back with: "Well according to intel, he's given up on weather machines. Now he's looking to harness the power of the sun to 'bring the miserable citizens of the Earth to their scrawny, worthless knees.' Good for him, it's nice that he's trying something different." Misha pauses. "Oh, hey, Doctor Terrible's the featured villain in this week's _Evil Villain Weekly_."

"That's great," Jared says. Sometimes he genuinely wonders how a kid who grows up idolizing super villains ends up being the technical genius who brings them down. The only real answer he can come up with is that it's Misha, and Misha never likes to be predictable.

Jared grunts in relief when his fingers latch onto flat rock and he pulls himself up from the wall of the cliff. "Alright, Misha, I'm gonna need some assistance now." Immediately, alarms start sounding and Jared takes off sprinting towards the large metal building in front of him.

*

Like all of his encounters with Kripke, this one is fairly fast and painless--at least for Jared. Within ten minutes Kripke is hanging from the ceiling, rope wrapped tightly around his arms and torso.

"If you'd had stepped just one more inch to the left, you'd be burnt crispy right now." Kripke growls, squirming against his restraints which only serves to have him start to spin in mid-air. For the third time, Jared puts his hand out and stops him, because he doesn't think it'd be fair for the maid to have to clean up vomit.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, Krip," Jared says. "Misha, get somebody here pronto to pick up our friend."

"On it. And I'll send a second someone to ship you home."

Jared smiles at the thought of seeing Jensen and that synchs the deal. He loves the man an insane amount and just--it's _time_. "Um, hey, does JD still owe me a favor?"

"The jeweler?" Misha asks. "Probably."

"Awesome," Jared says, stomach twisting pleasantly. "Get him on the line."

There's a long pause before Misha says, "You realize I'm not letting you marry anybody until I interrogate him?"

Jared shakes his head and smirks at Kripke, who sticks his tongue out and glares. "Of course," is all Jared says.

*

Jensen gets home everyday at five fifteen like clockwork. Jared's grateful for the ridiculous amount of scheduling Jensen insists is needed during work hours, because it gives him a clear time to work with. He does his best to clean the house--or, okay, he just vacuums the kitchen and washes down the countertop--and then calls up Genevieve to find out how to make shrimp linguine--Jensen's favorite. He doesn't tell her why he needs to know, and he figures that he'll pay for it later, but she gives him the ingredients and an idiot-proof list of instructions.

And Jared... he's managing right now. He does everything with a too-large smile plastered on his face, but he can't really help it with the way he's feeling. He's also beyond fucking nervous, despite that he's pretty sure Jensen will say yes. Mostly he's worried about managing to not look like an idiot in front of Jensen, even if after two years he's had plenty of time to do just that. Jared defuses bombs for a living, but there's no question that this is the single most stressful thing he's ever done.

He's busy crying his way through an onion when the door opens and Jensen's calling out, "Jared?"

"I'm in the kitchen," Jared calls back, dropping the knife and quickly washing his hands.

"What are you _doing_?" Jensen asks. Jared turns around and sees Jensen's wide eyes as he takes in the pot of water bubbling away on the stove.

"Figured I'd make you a meal for once. Is that a crime?" Jared grins and walks over to him, places his hands on either shoulder. "You look beat," he murmurs, and then presses his lips to Jensen's for just a brief moment. "Why don't you go shower, and it should be done by the time you get out."

Jensen raises an eyebrow. "Can I trust you not to burn down the house if I leave you alone?" he asks, but he's smiling. "Sounds great, man, thanks."

Jared just nods and smiles back, waiting until Jensen's out of the room before he makes a frantic dash back to the half-chopped onion. _Shit_ , he's got a lot to do. When the linguine sauce almost burns on him and he drops a decent portion of the pasta in the sink, it occurs to him that maybe Jensen really shouldn't have left him alone.

He hears the water shut off in the bathroom and he quickly digs out the box from his pocket, pulls the ring from it and drops it in the champagne flute. It's a little cheesy, but fuck it; he gets one shot at this and he's gonna hit every cliché apart from the flower petals. He pours the champagne halfway up the glasses, and then picks up the two bowls and brings them to the stove to load them up.

All in all, he doesn't think he's doing too badly with the whole thing. He'd dipped his finger in the sauce earlier and it tasted pretty damn decent, the shrimp may be slightly overcooked but that's what teeth are for, and the pasta that didn't end up in the sink is cooked properly. He hums to himself as he spoons the sauce over the pasta, feeling ridiculously proud of himself even as the anxiety starts to creep in again.

He's topping their bowls with shavings of parmesan when the ninja bursts through the window.

Jared spins around immediately and puts his fists up, adjusts his footing. The guy's dressed in all black, _of course_ , and he's glaring at Jared, eyes narrowed as he holds a katana in his hands. Jared waits for the telltale sign that he's ready to attack, and then dodges the sword's blade easily as it drives into the wooden door of the cupboard.

He launches two punches in quick succession to the ninja's gut, the ninja releasing the hilt of the katana to clutch at his stomach. Jared kicks him hard and sends him reeling backwards into the table. There's a clatter of silverware and the smashing of glass as he hits it, then the loud splintering sound of wood snapping as he falls to the floor. Jared cringes at the mess, thinks _Jensen's goddamn dinner!_ and then--after taking a quick glance at the still empty archway-- _fuck, Jensen, stay in the bathroom_.

The guy takes a minute to recover, a little disoriented and swaying slightly as he gets to his feet. Jared doesn't care, just shoves him against the wall and presses his arm to his windpipe. "What are you doing here?" he seethes, but the ninja's basically out for the count, eyes rolling. Jared sighs and slams him against the wall once more and lets him drop.

"Misha," Jared says as soon as his handler picks up the phone, "I've got a ninja here."

"A ninja?" Misha asks. "Like, an actual ninja?"

"Yes, an actual ninja," Jared says, inspecting the damage done to the window. There are glass shards all over the floor and the frame is broken beyond repair. He _liked_ that window.

Jared can practically see Misha shaking his head--he's never been fond of ninjas. "I'll start looking up who hires ninja assassins, and send a clean up crew."

"Thanks," Jared says, and turns around to see Jensen leaning down and reaching through the table wreckage. He pulls out the ring and Jared swallows, says, "Shit, Misha, I'll call you back," and then hangs up, setting the phone on the countertop.

Jensen stands up and inspects the ring, turning it over and over in his hand, face blank. If Jared wasn't feeling suddenly self-conscious, he might find it amusing that Jensen seems more out of place because of an engagement ring rather than the unconscious ninja against the wall. "I. Um," he says, cringing at how lame he sounds.

"Wow," Jensen says finally, glancing up at Jared. "Platinum. It's nice."

Jared scratches at the back of his neck and nods. "Yeah. I uh, I had a little help." He clears his throat. "You like it?"

Jensen nods. "Shit, Jay, I don't--know what to say."

"Oh. Well, that's encouraging."

Jensen's face splits into a smirk. "I know what to say to _that_. But, just... wow. I was not expecting this."

Jared looks at the floor, at the complete wreckage that's spread everywhere, littering the hardwood. "I'd get down on one knee," he says in a rush, pushing the hair out of his eyes. "But there's kind of a ton of broken glass all over the place."

"Yeah," Jensen murmurs, running his hand down his face, leaving a thoughtful smile in its wake. He goes back to looking intently at it, inspecting it with his eyes, with his fingers and palm. "Can I put it on?"

There's a lump in Jared's throat when he nods. "Yeah, of course," he says, and then realization hits him. "Hey, bring it here."

He opens his hand and Jensen sets it carefully in his palm, and then spreads his fingers out in front of Jared. Jared's hands are shaking a little bit when he picks the ring up, warm to the touch from Jensen's hand. Wrapping his fingers around Jensen's wrist carefully, Jared uses the other hand to slide the ring down his finger, stopping just as it gets snug. When he looks up, Jensen's smiling broadly and it makes Jared grin in return.

"You know, you didn't actually answer the question," Jared says.

"You know, you didn't actually _ask_ me the question," Jensen says right back, lips curling up as he meets Jared's eyes.

Jared blows out a shaky laugh and shakes his head, pulls back a little. "Jensen Ackles, will you marry me?" He licks his lips, considers the man in front of him. "Pretty please?"

Jensen hums, purses his lips. "I'll think about it," he says at last, grin maniacal as he presses his lips to Jared's.

The kiss feels different this time, feels infinitely better than anything that's come before it, and Jared finds himself laughing into it as he runs his hand down the length of Jensen's arm. Jensen nips at his mouth, teeth tugging on his lip and then there's his tongue, swiping along the ridge of his lip and making him open up for it. Jensen tastes like cinnamon toothpaste and the light warm edge that's purely himself, and Jared groans, a low rippling in the back of his throat.

They only pull away when the ninja on the floor starts groaning along with them, coming back to consciousness.

"What're you gonna do with him?" Jensen asks.

Jared shrugs and steps up to the ninja, punches him square in the jaw and the guy falls over again. "Now," Jared starts with a grin, dismissing everything in the world right now besides Jensen, "I believe I made you dinner."


End file.
